Kiss my ass judge

He said ‘kiss my ass, judge’
I, of course, said ‘motion denied’
Under the law of anus horribilis
The terms of endearment have been retrospectively applied

How do you plead?
Like a simpering baby
How do you bleed?
Just like a woman or child

He said sacrilege judge
Good people can be duped by bad beliefs
I ain’t sayin yer a landlubber
But I never see u out there on the seven seas

Don’t kiss me or judge my ass
Don’t judge me or kiss my ass

Lou Reed’s Liver

liverLou Reed’s Liver
E
I got good and bad news
Doctor said to me
I got a new liver for you
But it used to belong to Lou Reed

A
Ooh what a conundrum
To me it feels so-so humdrum
B/B7
Diggin deep into my body
Nothin ever gonna be the same
0 -2 5 0
Because I gotta make big decision
Poison or life my wife or a knife
I’m just a sorcerers apprentice
Not a simpering kneeling praying mantis

Middle 8 am/d/g/em (b7)
One day u got to decide whether to
Love her or leave her
Now it’s up to u
Are u a dier or a liver

And you may find that you
Can never leave her
You get the prize you get
Lou reed’s liver
Lou reed’s liver…

Here be munsters

Herr manYeah yeah yeah herr munster
gurning on your gurney like a puppet on a string
grinning like a brass babboon
it don’t mean a thing if it aint swinging like a a carrot

tell me if i gone too far
scratch my back with a loofah
tell me when i start to twitch
sponegebob bathtoys making me itch

herr hernan yo define positivity
the ugliest creature in humanity
anyone who had a heart
would see how heartless humanity can be

Herr Herman, your impudence knows no bounds
Dear Prudence, impudent humans

Turn back time

very messi
very messi

If i could turn back time I wouldn’t
I’d buy a sugarbean and sit it out
On a moonbeam, cinders glow like glow worms
glowering smouldering scowling – glowing

as i said earlier. towering under a cantilever
taking a whizz round the back
man i so need a whizz
the buzzard of whizz

tin can allies spinning their webs in the dark
try harder you eight legged spindly freak
a suckling pig curls its tail like a little boys willie
into a half nelson

if i could turn back time i wouldn’t
i like its forward arrow too much
the agony and the entropy
once more down to the beach rode the 500

the horses screeching tyres -
god, what a mess
people, people who need people
are losers nonetheless

Free Air

airPumpinĀ  gas into the vehicle
clock tickin over the rate is maniacal

fearing is ambivalent
some feelings are transient
some are just art
‘xcuse me while i piss in the dark

do you understand?
Dirty Old Town, Sainsberry’s jeweIl
was made for loving
ripe to the quick, sentimental, fool style

yes sir, my aunt was due to arrive at 6:50
and i was sent to meet her
oh what a sentimental web we weave
when we wobble aimlessly through the leaves

dub dub dub, who do you love
nub nub nub who you nubbing lately chump?
donald trump or a southern piss-ant
queer as mules with a loose-leaf meusli piquant

she leaves springshells in her wake
godess on a mountaintop
steely-eyed peel on a bare-assed rope
stinging lik a whip-ass monster in Rome

When in Rome do as the Munsters do
With the animals, two by two
hit em with your best shot
a short length of four by two

fire away
can you guess what it is yet?

Sand Dune Loon

Steve McCabe, OBE
Steve McCabe, OBE

dedicated fan or crazed loon?
dedicated fan or crazed loon?
dedicated fan or crazed loon?
dedicated loon or crazed fan?

dedicated fan or crazed loon?
dedicated loon or crazed fan?
phoney or peaceloving muso?
Catcher in the rye who’s pitchin?

I’m bitchin, damn straight
Markie C I’m goinna getcha
oh yeh praise the lord i’m gonna catch ya
damned straight underwire

pickled brlycream sweepover
laid down forty wreaths on the underpass
tossed one on the freeway
just to show my virtue

Tucson leather, too cheap for Pinky Tuscadero
Patent leather, patently unwarranted
Fiscally prudent never mind jurisprudence
Fighting with tongues while the Babel Tower crashes in ruins

Prey on the weak, only the weak pray
pray once a week then face the other way
pray while yo sweepo if you’re a chimney sweep
pray like a creep if you’re a gangly creep

I’ll put you in the stocks
if you do that again

 

(My) Pez Ma

pezFingerlickin good I tell you, every little piece is dynamite
Luckily its a Saturday, I could be up all nite
I think maybe I finally met my my-my bette noir
Here she pull up in her Plymouth Dodge with a left hand drive Pez Ma

ch:
Today I feel so full, I’m like an animal on heat
Today I feel so good tomorrow I’ll be beat
Tomorrows for the birds, I really can’t say ya
The next days for the rest, the people love Pez Ma

Soggy biscuit say goodbye – to your little friend
The winds of change are blowin in – El Nino is the trend
Its so hot an eagle couldn’t land any place between here and thar
When the Eagles said you better take it easy didn’t think they meant my Pez Ma

ch:
And all the native girls present themselves with beads
Shells and trinkets go so well with ants and centipedes
We can all fly like birds the skies they stretch so far
Soaring like our ancestors, the dinosaur Pez Ma

Yo ma’s so Pez, she’s not allowed to drink no Diet Coke
Yo ma’s so Stoked to live in the valley of the toke
The only thing that makes it better is the peace of mind in thar
Sober as a sabre rattler handing out pez ma