101 Quarterback Sacks

quarterbacksackHe’d go the whole 9 yards
To get a quarterback sack
Tried to touch down
i’d have no bar of his sack

Quarterback Sack!
Quarterback Sack!
Everybody take home a 101-pack!
Quarterback Sack!
Quarterback Sack!
Take it or leave it, just don’t bring it back!

He’s at 10 & 3
On just the second down
I’d take a pounthe’s taking
His sack downtow

Quarterback Sack!
Hut! Hut! Hut!
Everybody loves a 101-pack!
Quarterback Sack!
Pass it round the back!
Take it home in a box or a sack!

Festival of Saints

Now that might has fallen
On the festival of saints
Haunted thoughts pass me by
Through the summer rain

You win some you lose some
Some you come out top of class
When you reach your peak you’ll know
What has come to pass…

Silver blue they shimmer by
The festival of saints
Please have mercy on
This festival of saints

Festival of saints
I like to come back here
Festival of saints
Your silver blue hair

Festival of Saints (Demo by the Stokes Valley Flyers)

All good angels – reach for the stars


All good angels go to heavenbitches  bleat and go to the Seven 11
bleatin bitches can suck my dick
cos i’m the man who’s gonna save this county

not like pablo escobar and his leeches
smuggled in by jet-fueled parabolic preachers
if parabolic preachers have stars on their bellies
then where the fuck are ours

We died for this country, you and I both
and no I don’t need to google that quote
angels are made in heaven, we are all stellar-born
angels eleven spellbound till dawn

but only if we make it so they let us

An Ingham Twins Christmas


You put your eggs into one basket
In my books that makes you an egg-hoarding bastard
Laid in a line like a platoon of soldiers
Ducks in a line thats what our forbears told us

Bears are what scares the Ingham twins most
Bears, Snakes, then Chickens but bears the most
Who bears witness or do we just grin and bear it
Baring our souls for a red-rimmed beret

Bereft of berating the wellness of being
Bell-ends blow the top off the end of the bell-curve
Ingham Twins bear-fear is their nemesis
Puts the fear of God into them like so-called ISIS

Pak’n’Save Leader

you know where you stand
i’m a pak’n’save gas man
follow the price leader
starve or get gas, man

Stick man progressives
straight mainline featherbed faultline
weatherboard ocanside sugar apartment
you all go to pak’n’save in the end

Chip selve the santa whiff queen
Pak’n’Save daity wip nightmare
In your wildest deams
you’re in the aisles