No-one can be all perfect
The cat in the hat knows a lot about that

Hurry up, I haven’t got all day
Aint got time to wait for you to go away
I thought you were a half-decent person
I guess i was right about that

Starin’ down the barrel like Stephen Bain
Like a tube of toothpaste out it the rain
Stupid bloody Monday take your nappies off
Bloody Mary gave em to Zarakov

One sweet day I’ll win my case
If you haven’t already given it away
If i wasn’t such an idiot chump
It wouldn’t have to be this way

Super Duper, Pants on fire
Minnie Cooper, quite the Divine
Get off my case, you know it used to be fine
Its my best friend’s case but it used to be mine

Used to be a puppet, no-ones’s dancing now
Look who’s pulling the strings, look who’s milking the cow
Milkin the cow till its all out of milk
Can’t afford milk because the larder is bilked
Son of a gun takin you for a ride
Don’t want to see it, its pathetic and snide

O’Haras law says you should be under protection
Duty of power is in dereliction
‘Scuse my while I correct my diction
The fire’s out now but it was close to eviction

Dudette’s so fine like a swingle sister
Gave me a rash, soon turned into a cyst thing
gimme some Mister Chips Chips, Mister Mister
Men without Hats don’t know what they’re missin’

Cat in the Hat won’t come anywhere near you
Can’t say I blame him, not with that attitude
Cats without hats are a queer kind of folk
I’d eat my hat gladly if i had the latitude